Disclaimer, I am not a certified therapist. What I am is a girl who loves hot chocolate and has survived a couple of hard days. I went from happy and active to sad, never leaving the house person. After COVID, everyone seemed to adjust well. My classmates were excited to go back to school and friends to hang out and make memories. I, on the other hand, was struggling to get out of bed. I didn't cook, clean, go out or shower. I had been diagnosed with depression, but was in and out of therapy. When I look back the shame and denial kept me in the sad and I despair loop. I didn't want to ask for help because of what people would say and I believed people like me should not be depressed.

I didn't have a worst day, I had worst days, and here's how I survived them:

Here’s how to survive your worst days:

Tip 1: Acceptance

From your big sister to you: the first step to dealing with anything, literally anything is acceptance. Accept it sucks I know the feelings are big and heavy but I need you to look at whatever is bothering you head-on. Acknowledging things for what they are frees you, giving you the headspace to see things more clearly and rationally.

Tip 2: Sit With Your Feelings.

I love and hate this part. I love it because I get to sit down, light a candle, burn sage, and journal. I also get to enjoy comfort films and food. A big bag of tomato-flavoured crisps. I get to enjoy my pajamas from dawn till dusk, cuddle my teddy, and of course skip washing utensils. But, accepting how deeply some emotions demand to be seen or felt, getting that burning sensation on my chest, or heaviness on my back; that’s what drives me crazy. Expressing our emotions gets the heaviness out of us allowing us to clear the fog.

Tip 3: Get Working

So, now you know how badly you are hurt, disappointed, or frustrated. What will you do?

You could sit and wallow but that was step two. Here, you cultivate good habits. You go for walks, make a meal and schedule therapy. You clean your room. You get going a day at a time. Your journey to better days might have twists and turns but it's yours. Embrace it.

A day at a time might take you weeks or months, like I said it's your journey. Honor it. I truly believe numbers two and three are sisters. Some days you will need extra pajamas, other days you’ll kick ass. Give yourself the grace to survive both days.

Tip 4: Trust Your Gut. Trust Your Body.

Whatever you need to get out of a funk baby, you have it in you. Trust that little voice in you. The gut controls our motivation, energy levels, clarity, and decision-making. You learn to trust your gut by keeping it healthy and trusting the small nudges you get.

Trusting your gut might take time if you don’t feel at home in your body or you don’t trust yourself. Thus, starting small is the way to go. Trust what your body wants to have for supper or breakfast and feed it that. If you struggle to trust yourself, start by switching to a gut-friendly diet, writing down the moments you ignored your intuition or trusted your intuition and what happened. 

Also, affirm yourself. Repeating phrases such as: I trust myself; I only want what’s best for myself; I easily make the right decision; eases you into being someone who can make the right decisions.

Tip 5: Let Your Faith Guide You.

If you pray, then get on your knees. Turning to the higher power one believes in for help provides one with a structure to get through difficult times and support from God or members of the same religion. Although meditating is difficult, it’s crucial as it calms and inhibits stress response. Practicing mindfulness reduces activity in the amygdala, the part of your brain that controls your stress response.

My favorite way to meditate is by listening to the birds chirp, watching the butterflies, or taking a hot shower. Sometimes I use a guided meditation from YouTube. Physical activity helps in the production of happy hormones called endorphins. In case you’re in a stressful situation, a 10-minute mindfulness walk removes you from the situation giving you time to catch your breath. 

My favorite way to add movement to my day is taking walks and 10 minutes of yin yoga. In yin yoga, we hold the poses for a long time allowing you to pause and see how your body reacts to the pose. This calms and relaxes you whilst helping you connect to your body.

Basking in the sun triggers the brain to release serotonin. Serotonin helps you feel calm and focused. In my case, waking up with the sun or before the sun helps me cure insomnia as it allows me to sleep and get into a routine.

Observing my circadian clock makes it easy to fall asleep at night and easy to wake up. I’d then conquer my day as shown in tip number 6. Breathing exercises help you relax the muscles thus relaxing physically and mentally. My favorite breathing technique is Box breathing: breathe in, count to four slowly, hold your breath for 4 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 4, and repeat till you feel relaxed.

Tip 6: A Small To-Do List

When we are in the trenches we tend to feel or believe things will never work out for us. We also might wither away jumping from couch to bed, from series to series. Being productive gives one a sense of accomplishment which then gives you something to celebrate.

I love to-do lists as you can add anything that makes you happy. Start with 5 essential tasks that you must do that day. This list should help you slowly come out of the dark hole and ease you back into productivity.

When I started, my to-do list read: wake up, freshen up, Eat, draw the curtains, sweep the house, 5 minutes of sunshine. Although waking up and eating were mandatory they were on that list to help me accomplish things even on days I didn’t tick anything else.

As you progress, break down your to-do list into 3: a monthly list that should be drawn from the quarterly goals or yearly goals you’ve set, a weekly to-do list that helps you achieve your monthly goals, and a daily to-do list that helps achieve the weekly goals. As you set these goals remember to reward yourself weekly and monthly, no matter how small the gift is. You deserve it.

Tip 7: Patience

It might take you days, months, or years to feel whole again. The journey to finding happiness requires that you grant yourself the patience and time. Sometimes sadness just finds you. In these moments, please be kind to yourself.

It took me 2 years to start feeling normal again. It does take deliberate effort to get your happy hormones in. Some days will be tougher than others and on those days remember to simplify your tasks. The sadness might feel like a cycle but I wish you kinder seas.